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List Girl
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2009.09.07 18.07
T's Game
OK, all my teacher types!
T has created the best game ever. i know you make up names for the students in your class and sometimes these become the only names you know them by.
I want to know your list.
(students, who are your classmates?)
This is T's awesome list:
I'm TAing over 100 kids in two sections this semester.
Impeccable Dresser
Friendly MILF
Close-Talking Sorority Girl
White Jock
Black Jock
Jimmy Fallon Jock
Poor Language Skills
Awesome Tardy Lesbian
the Creepy Twins
the Facebooker
Sad African Dude
Summer Glau
Staring Piercings Girl
AssKiss McSelfImportant
Over-Eager Party Girl
the One with the Pink Pen
Chinese Woodcut
Hooters Waitress
Handicapped Guy
Asian Stoner
Asian Stoner with a Crew-Cut
Fat Asian Stoner
Mine:
-Dreadlocks smells like smoke
-Dyke from 1984
-Looks like a 12 year old soccer playing boy
-Sad African (do we share student?)
-Scandinavian Mouse
-Angry Dyke (who I just found our is Evangelical Christian and Straight)
-Class mom
-Miss Perfect
-Anorexic Horse
-Midwest mom
-midwest boy
-Labor Union Boy
-Matt (not his name, he looks like my friend Matt, so far I've kept from accidentially calling him Matt)
-stoned
-didn't read
-Class president
-little one
-big one
-Natashka (like a russian spy)
-that student from last year's wife
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2009.08.28 16.48
As I get older I get more greedy about birthday presents
I've been begging for reusable, resealable snack bags and these are so very close to perfect, but how many people actually bring sandwiches for lunch? Why can't I get a set of these that doesn't require me to eat bread? Yuck.
I would be so super cool with this. I could pretend I was like those native guys up on the buildings, you know?
Little boxes not made of ticky tacky
I have a double tier round version of this but it's not as colorful and is much much smaller, clearly I need an upgrade.
It's like Rubbermade and Aladdin had a baby! Food organizer!
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2009.07.10 15.44
A few things from the bike shop.
*Note: A.J.F.A. has guest bloggers. I'm having a guest lister (a.k.a. stealing someone else's list)
Date: 2009-05-27, 4:05PM PDT
Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let's discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru.
So yes, you've noticed the sun is out, and hey!- maybe it would be cool to to some bike riding. Let's keep in mind that the sun came out of all 600,000 of us, so for the most part, you're not the only one who noticed. Please remember that when you walk into my shop on a bright, sunny Saturday morning. It will save you from looking like a complete twat that huffs "Why are there so many people here?"
Are we all on the same page now about it being sunny outside? Have we all figured out that we're not the only clever people that feel sunny days are good for bike riding? Great. I want to kiss all of you on your forehead for sharing this moment with me. Put your vitamin D starved fingers in mine, and we'll move on together to some pointers that will make life easier.
SOME POINTERS FOR THE PHONE:
- I don't know what size of bike you need. The only thing that I can tell over the phone is that you sound fat. I don't care how tall you are. I don't care how long your inseam is. Don't complain to me that you don't want to come ALL THE WAY down to the bike shop to get fitted for a bike. I have two hundred bikes in my inventory. I will find one that fits you. Whether you come from the north or the south, my shop is downhill. Pretend you're going to smell a fart, ball up, and roll your fat ass down here.
- Don't get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have four phone lines ringing, and a herdlet
of people waiting for help, I can't deal with you sitting there "uuuuhhh"-ing and "uuummm"-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-fixie conundrum. We didn't get disconnected, I left you on hold to figure your shit out.
-I really do need to see your bike to know what is wrong with it. You've already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I've learned from you fucking squirrels, it's that "doesn't shift right" means your bike could need a slight cable adjustment, or you might just need to stop backing into it with the Subaru. Bring it in, I'll let you know for sure.
- No, I don't know how much a good bike costs. For some, spending $500 dollars is a kingly sum. For others, $500 won't buy you one good wheel. You really need to have an idea of what you want, because every one of you raccoons "doesn't want to spend too much".
FOR YOU INVENTIVE TYPES AND DO-IT-YOURSELFERS:
- Just because you think is should exist, doesn't mean that it does. I know that to you, a 14 inch quill stem makes perfect sense, but what makes more sense is buying a bike that fits you, not trying to make your mountain bike that was too small for you to begin with into a comfort bike.
- If some twat on some message board somewhere says that you can use the lockring from your bottom bracket as a lockring for a fixie conversion doesn't mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interests at heart.
- I love that you have the enthusiasm to build yourself a recumbent in the off season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm; ergo I won't do the "final tweaks" for you. You figure out why that Sram shifter and that Shimano rear derailleur don't work together. While we're at it, you recumbent people scare me a little. Don't bring that lumbering fucking thing anywhere near me.
A DEDICATION TO ALL THE HIPSTER DUCHEBAGS:
-If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn't NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling $300 bikes to fatties, which is what keeps the lights on.
- Being made in the 80's may make something cool, but that doesn't automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that "vintage" Murray is because it's shit. It was shit in the 80's, a trend it carried proudly through the 90's, and rallied with into the '00's. What I mean to say is, no, I can't make it work better. It's still shit, even with more air in the tires.
SO YOU'RE GONNA BUY A BIKE:
Good for you! Biking is awesome. It's easy, it's fun, it's good for you. I want you to bike, I really do. To that end, I am here to help you.
-Your co-worker that's "really into biking" knows fuck all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you having the right bike. He wants to validate his bike purchase(s) through you. He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching bike shorts with you.
- You're not a triathlete. You're not. If you were, you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.
- You're not a racer. If you were, I'd know you already, and you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.
- So you want a bike that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for that triathlon you're doing this summer (snicker), is good on trails and mud, and costs less than $300. Yeah. Listen, I want a car that can go 200 miles an hour, tow a boat, has room for five adults, is easy to parallel park but can carry plywood, gets 60mpg, and only costs $3,000. I also want a unicorn to blow me. What are we even talking about here? Oh yeah. Listen, bikes can be fast, light, cheap and comfortable. Pick two, and we're all good.
ABOUT YOUR KIDS:
Your kids are amazing. Sure are. No one else has kids as smart, able, funny or as good looking as you. Nope. Never see THAT around here.
- I have no idea how long you kid will be able to use this bike. As it seems to me, your precious is a little retarded, and can't even use the damn thing now. More likely, your budding genius is going to leave the bike in the driveway where you will Subaru the bike to death LONG before the nose picker outgrows the bike.
- Stop being so jumpy. I am not a molester. You people REALLY watch too much TV. When I hold the back of the bike while your kid is on it, it's not because I get a thrill from *almost* having my hand on kid butt, it's because kids are unpredictable, and generally take off whenever possible, usually not in the direction you think they might go. Listen, if I were going to do anything bad to your kids, I'd feed them to sharks, because sharks are FUCKING AWESOME.
I hope this helps, and have fun this summer riding your kick-ass bike!
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2009.07.06 18.02
Good Bye Ebi
My Hyundai
-passenger side headlight blew out regularly
-3,000 in repairs in the last 2.5 months
-70,000 miles in less than 3 years (yeah, I do that)
-A/C problems 3 phx summers in a row
-used waaaaay more gas than it was rated for (like 10mpg less)
-had an awesome moon roof
-Sadly, my favorite ear ring pair is now incomplete, a silver ear ring that was my mother's from before I was born, is forever lost in the center console
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2009.04.17 10.49
What I ate this week
-Cashew crusted talapia
-mediocre clam chowder
-Blackened Halibut
-very good clam chowder
-steamed clams
-fried halibut and chips
-finger fulls of smoked salmon
yumyumyumyum
(why is arizona so far from fresh fish?)
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2009.03.19 12.32
Death
-of all the deaths I have seen, I still think AIDS is the most gruesome, but that dog twitching in the road whimpering trying to run home, was pretty damn bad too
-Reflecting on adulthood lately, I've decided that the two hallmarks are 1) creating the discipline to do the dishes before going to bed each night and 2) developing a fear of death. I'm just now starting on the dishes, still waiting for the fear to set in
-the people who were the closest to me who have died, were the least traumatic deaths for me as an observer, the people I didn't get to be with as much hurt the most
-I still cry really really hard when I see anything that even looks slightly similar to the worst deaths I've seen -pictures, movies, stories(and yes, musicals)
-I have no idea how people like Ms M. and Ms E. do their jobs, I don't like how other people deal with death, I'm not supportive like that, especially when it's people you know are going to die . . . like, everyone. You're very old = I'm not surprised if you die.
-I still think crashing and dying while riding a motorcycle without a helmet and trying, while drunk, to jump off a balcony into a pool are the two stupidest ways to die
-I do have one fear about death and it's a very specific fear involving sharks _not_ eating me.
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2009.01.22 12.19
I want
a widget(hehe) for my igoogle page, or a web community that I can join that has:
1- the ability for me to make lists with links
2-has a project queue with thumbnails of the project or at least the page
3-has a button on my toolbar just like the "add to ravelry queue" that I currently abuse in all sorts of ways it wasn't intended
4-allows me to see at a glance my: projects to consider, things to make, gifts to give, movies to watch, books to read etc. all at once
5- can add sites to lists at just a click
6- is highly cartagorizable
7- IS ACCESSIBLE (to the computer stupid, dyslexic, slow connected, etc.)
8- it would be great if the visual stuff was customizable (see #7)
Anything out there that can do this? Part of this?
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2009.01.21 12.08
You Got Around
1- walked into a class last night, didn't know anyone in the room. By the end of the evening I discovered that TWO people in the room were ex's of people I messed around with. Mind you, I'm in AZ one of these "relationships" occurred in MA and one in VA. The night also included a startled me proclaiming "OH! You're THAT Jill!"
2- Two my exes just met in Portland at a conference.
3- a former student of mine asked me to define "promiscuous" and I just stared at her, speechless
Thank god for safe sex.
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2008.12.18 15.50
Please, Please, Please do this!!
1- Go to http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
2- Read the entry dated Dec. 16th
3- Send an email to stuffwhitepeoplelikeATgmailDOTcom Strongly suggest they give their money to Arizona League to End Regional Trafficking (remember, slavery is bad)
4- Tell me that you did it so I can thank you
Check out our sad little website while you're at it:
http://traffickingaz.org/
(really we do a lot better in person)
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2008.12.15 14.30
Things I would love to do and will be proud of myself once they are done
1- Finish our thank you cards to every wonderful person who came to the wedding or otherwise contributed.
2- Put all of the random photographs into chronological order alongside all the random newspaper clipping, put them in a book.
3- Sort and empty the three boxes of miscellaneous papers
4- Check on the odd thing happening with my car payments
5- write emails to Bubba, Layna, and Nance
6- recycle all of the articles and assignments I have sitting on my shelf from grad school (this will be a hard one, it takes bravery to admit I haven't touched these in years)
7- Water proof our tent
8- put together our wedding photo album
9- Cut grumio's nails
Of these at least three will be finished by this afternoon and two more will be done before the weeks out.
This list was obviously more for me than you, but thank you for reading it.
;)
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2008.11.26 14.42
Question
Anyone know good contact database software?
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2008.11.09 12.13
He's my Meme Supplier, He keeps me hooked up
Silly Name Meme
1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Jesus
(hell yeah, my mom doesn't have a middle name)
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
Stephen Esteban
(This is hilarious, I never realized it)
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Re-Kath
4.DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color, fav animal)
Blue Armadillo
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Patricia Tempe
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcoholic drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Orange Virgin
(bwah! hahahahahah!)
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
KaRe (What? it's not K-Res?)
8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
None Any (ummm . . . that's as bad as Snickers Oatmeal)
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Grumio Fremont (am I british funk rocker?)
10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Sally Curran
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2008.11.04 15.13
Election Day
-My first thought this morning was "Let the Revolution Begin" I think it had more to do with my dream about being in the jungle than the election, but it still was a great way to wake up
-everyone was so distracted by Obama's flashing smile, they forgot to campaign against Sheriff joe
-at 6am The line to vote was all over the parking lot before polls even opened (at the phoenix site close to my house)
-at 9am the line at my polling place (farther from my house) was short and the process was quick
-The guys behind us in line went through each of the ballot measures, I was so glad to hear that large, white, male, business-types are not all stupid
-I always worry that I filled out my ballot wrong. Are there IEP accommodations for voting? Does it fall under ADA? It should, no?
-This is only the second time I've ever gotten one of those "I Voted Today" stickers (but I've voted many times before)
-I like standing in line better than sending in a ballot
-no one in my office is capable of doing work, their all too busy checking political wire's map to see how long until it says anything useful
-I could spend all day in front of the radio/tv/news giving device
-I'm hoping my bad luck today is not any sort of portent, just typing that now feels like I may have jinxed the election
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2008.10.22 08.58
Covered in Gasolina
-The trigger of the gas pump was wedged open (errr . . closed?)I poured multiple gallons of gasoline on my car, the ground, and myself
-puddles of gasoline behave weirdly
-I once had a doctor suggest that my X-M-ah was the result of having something like gasoline spilled on me, as it had never happened before, I don't think it was the cause, but I've now set myself up to see if it's the cure
-How does one get gasoline out of a dry clean only suit? Will the suit ignite at some point?
-What about my shoes?
-I wondered how much of the event was caught on security cameras. What facial expression did I make? I was surprised, scared, frustrated, and sickened what face is that?
-I was really scared to get back in the car and start it up, nearly terrified that a spark would cause an explosion, I put a phenomenal amount of faith in the attendant's casual attitude about the whole thing
-I thought, for a moment, about CCM saying that two weeks ago was the first time she'd been in my car, now I'm going to blow it up, if I surrvive, I'll have another car she's never seen, why does that make me sad?
-I drove home with all the windows open, still ended up incredibly nauseous, something that resembled buzzed, and headachy
-I kept worrying that someone would flick a cigarette out their window and it'd be curtains, not so afraid of dying I dread that loud boom or combustion
-I kept thinking of things to make for dinner that wouldn't require a flame
-yes, I'm a paranoid chickenshit but I'm also highly flammable
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2008.09.16 10.00
Someone Please Pick Which Stressor I Should Focus On
*Wedding- 18 Days away, haven't planned the ceremony itself yet
*My former students and school- dealing with a death that I'm having a hard time dealing with
*Work- my 3 VERY pressing tasks
*House- There are dishes in the sink from Sunday morning that I promised I would wash
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2008.09.12 13.25
How to Tell I am Completely and Totally Over You
Alternate title: "Shut Up You Stupidwhorebag, Why Are Your Still Talking?"
1- I suddenly think you smell funny and won't sit near you
2- You want to meet up I opt to go for a run
3- Your chest doesn't catch my attention nevermind distract me from an entire conversation
4- I hand you an invitation to my wedding
5- The button in O.I.'s car is long gone
6- You make a joke and I tell you it's offensive instead of giggling girlishly
7- I though you were selective, now I think you're elitist
8- You are a lot more healthy than you used to be and I don't tell you "you look great!"
9- I leave after an hour, without trying "anything"
10- I don't wear makeup or even change from my work clothes to meet with you
11- I notice how unmotivated you are
12- I realize all those stories you've ever told me that I used to memorize and cherish, were just a way for you to complain about your life.
13- I punch you.
Get it?
I'm no longer enamored.
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2008.08.29 13.27
Completely Uncalled for
I realize we live in the desert and it doesn't rain ofter. People like to add "oh but when it does . . " F them. There is no good reason for a storm like last night's even thought I thoroughly enjoyed it, I still think it was an unnecessary display of power. The second such storm I've been subjected to in a little over month.
1- Watching the lightening close in from all over the valley in a big crazy electical circle was amazing, but I was sad that Len had to drive and couldn't watch, but if I was driving I wouldn't have been able to watch.
2- It didn't actaully start raining until we were two blocks from home and had forgotten about the strom and stopped to run an errand, at wich point the sky opened up and dropped hail on us, hail before the rain. Thanks.
3- 48th st. immediatly flooded, I mean FLOODED 6b inches of water and my little Elantra, I kept thinking of the "turn around, don't drown" PSAs but had no where to turn around too.
4- Guy cruising through neighborhood on motorcycle with no lights on, should be shot.
5- There was a current in the water flowing down our back drive.
6- The hail bouncing off the window meant we had to give CrazyDog a hug dose of rescue remedy. Then she laid on the floor, on her back, with her paws in the air and made her signature CrazyEyes. That was really comforting.
7- I don't like when the lights flicker but don't go out.
8- Had to call roommate mid-storm and tell her not to drive back across town. So she got to hang out in the Ghetto that is our work neighborhood.
9- The news reported that our neighborhood had been really badly hit, so friends kept calling to see if we were ok. But they kept calling DURING THE STORM. I wanted to answer so bad, but Savoy memories stopped my hand.
10- J's roof got torn up, it kind of freaked her out. Go figure.
11- This morning, my intern had to pull a tree out of his road and a second one out of his driveway, that made him late (ok, that didn't actaully but me, but it bugged him)
12- My phone line is dead at work
13- the meeting I was supposed to be at tonight (the meeting we were finally going to have after 2 months of not getting in gear on this project) is canceled because a tree fell on the place we were supposed to meet.
We get it, your nature, all big and strong and shit. Now leave us alone and let us bake in 112 like we're used to.
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